Over the past year, I’ve written extensively on my departure from Facebook, and how leaving has not only improved my life significantly, but has also shown me how much more I hate people, than I had originally thought. It’s quite clear how I feel about Facebook.
But did you know I also don’t Twitter? Or SnapChat? I don’t know any other things people use, but I am guilty of having an Instagram account, and I’m not sure if I’m using it right. I say this, because every time I log into the app, I see the same vain showboating that I hated on Facebook.
Sure, it is much less pervasive than it was on Facebook. I don’t have to see everything that my friends have “liked” that day or that week. I like that, because of the fact that I don’t care about what they found interesting. If it’s interesting enough to share it, they can share it. Their internal gauge of the importance Khloe Kardashian’s bikini body isn’t something I need to be involved in. I appreciate that Instagram keeps these dull friends from “showing their work” as they say in Mathematics.
I also don’t get tagged in shit that other people think I would be interested in. I like that, because I find that many of the people in my life don’t really know me at all. And if you’re trying to tag me in something that you think is funny, DON’T. I probably don’t think it’s funny, and I don’t want to pretend that I do.
But Instagram is just social media, at the end of the day. It’s still the same thing, isn’t it? As much as I don’t want it to be, it is. I log in, and see content that makes me like people less and less. It’s a constant reminder of how much I don’t fit in with the people around me, and I never will.
I don’t want to appeal to others in a way that makes them think I’m attractive. That’s not important to me. I don’t want to be revered for my looks, or act flashy, or pout at the camera with makeup and filters all over my face. I don’t want to show my ass, or talk about my tits. I don’t want to be in the front of every photo, claiming to know that life is about me somehow. I don’t care what influencers are doing. I don’t want to be like anyone that’s out there. And yet, these are the people I see when I log in. I hate it.
I do hate Instagram. It’s literally the only social media I have, and I probably (definitely) couldn’t even tell you the names of 5 other social media apps. I just don’t care enough about that kind of human interaction. If I want to reach people, or send a message, I want it to be for something other than just what the fuck I look like.
I began this site, because I use my writing to reach others. Sometimes, my topics and viewpoints piss off the people I know. Just as I know that I’m going to get 15 messages regarding this post, and they’re all going to say, “Was that about me?”
Of course! Isn’t everything about you?!???
Listen: if you read my shit, and you think “Hey, that sounds like she’s talking about me,” THEN I PROBABLY AM. I didn’t force you to behave that way. You did it on your own (with the influence of famous people you like) and I just talk about how I don’t like it. I don’t have to like it. Just like you don’t have to stop doing what you’re doing. Free country.
I write about society. That’s my target topic. What happens when you’re so repulsed by your target topic, that you want to quit? I’m sure political writers run into this all the time. How do you keep going? How do you subject yourself to something that is completely optional, when you disagree with it so wholeheartedly? Why would you?
There is no answer. The truth is, I recognize that different people have different strengths as objective pieces in life’s game. We have automotive experts, psychological experts, medical experts, etc. The world is full of people who know what they’re doing, more than you do. They’re trained in their field, or they’ve studied enough to have figured shit out. You take their advice and expertise, and you apply it to whatever needs fixing.
That’s what I do. I pick apart the shitty things about people, and let them know how they can be less shitty. Of course, that’s just according to my opinion. Some people call me anti-feminist. Some people say I’m a prude, or closed-minded. It’s funny to hear these things as responses to my writing, because they’re really just shots from an empty pen, from the desk of John Q. Butthurt. People get so defensive of their habits, that they never stop to think about why they actually do them. Why do you need to take the same picture of yourself, making the same face, every day? In case someone forgot what you look like? Why do it? What is the reason?
The reason is, because you find yourself attractive, and you want others to see you in that attractive moment, so they can find you attractive too. That is the only reason. There is no other reason, so stop trying to convince yourself. No one is trying to monitor your subtle changes over the years, so just admit that you’re doing it for your vanity.
Now you’re saying, “Well, what’s so wrong with feeling attractive?”
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with feeling like you look good. I encourage people to find good things about themselves all the time. The point is, when you minimize your existence to just your looks, you’re basically advertising that there’s nothing more to you than aesthetics. Unless you’re a contracted model, you should probably have more substance than just a pretty face. Give me something else. Anything.
So I’m a prude, because I think girls/women giving their images away for free on the internet is still a bad idea. I don’t know when or how I became the minority on this, but this new “feminism” wave has convinced everyone that everything is acceptable. I still remember when people worried about provocative pictures of themselves being out there in cyberspace, where any sicko could get their eyes on them (and if they like what they see, they’ll check out the rest of your profile, and see your kids, and see what the back yard of your house looks like, or the route that you travel on your Instagram stories).
Now, I see friends of mine in their underwear, or with their clothes barely on their bodies at all, or with a caption that directs the viewer specifically to see it sexually. You may feel like you’re powerful, but it’s basically free porn, and people who see it probably don’t think you’re powerful. They think they’re getting something for free, and they are.
But it’s your body, and your life. Go ahead and do it, if you like it. What’s the worst that could happen? That your children will have to deal with seeing their parent naked a bunch of times, when they may not feel comfortable with it? Or even better, they will grow up thinking that’s a good idea, and then a bunch of strangers are looking at your naked teen child for free on the internet. It’s ok. Mommy does it too. Future bosses or prospective colleges or loving grandparents or potential mates will allll see it as powerful.
Maybe that’s fine with you, too. But stop claiming that your attention-seeking behavior is feminism. You’re not inspiring anyone. You’re not “sticking it to the man” or shattering stereotypes. You’re not doing anything progressive. You just want to be seen and admired. That’s normal. But it’s not feminism. The idea of equality is so far outside your wheelhouse, it’s not even rolling down the street in your wheelneighborhood. Let’s call it Vanity, which is what it actually is.
I can say that I am anti-feminist in this way. I tell women why they’re grating against the feminist ideal of equality, but that is why I’m seen as not a feminist. In my mind, I define a feminist as someone who doesn’t create expectations of any gender, and believes opportunity should be available to everyone, in all areas of life and living.
That means every woman should be free to do and think as she pleases, regardless of what others think she should or shouldn’t be doing. Feminism! True feminism would suggest that means ALL people can do the exact same thing. No gender should be able to do something another one can’t do, right? Everyone gets to do everything. No one isn’t allowed to, if someone else can. That’s equality, and that’s what feminism is about.
So when I say I don’t like seeing my friends posing for free on the internet, or being completely wrapped up in their appearance, I am definitely being anti-feminist. They can do what they want. It’s their body. If they’re comfortable showing tits to the world, let them! If they’re comfortable with their 16 year old son sending out dick pics to his classmates, that’s the same thing, right? Nudity is for everyone who wants to bestow it upon the world. I mean, if a dude wants to whip out his wing-wang at you on the street, you just have to accept it, because everyone gets to be nude; not JUST YOU.
That’s part of my problem: I see people showing their shit off freely to the world, after talking about how a guy exposing himself to a woman is harassment. I’m not talking about cornering someone with your dick out. I’m talking about photos and videos of male anatomy being shown the way women show theirs online. If it’s not some sculpted, hairless, tan guy, it’s not acceptable. How is his choice to be nude considered harassment, and your choice to be nude is considered a right? That’s the issue. Nobody ever thinks their nudity could be unwelcome. Theirs is beautiful art that mother nature made, and other people’s nudity is rape.
Well, wake the fuck up and start considering that the world doesn’t always think your selfies are great. Sometimes, they’re boring. Sometimes, it reminds me that you really have nothing more going for you in life, and that makes me want to cry, because NOBODY is just looks.
But apparently a lot of people in my orbit are so self-obsessed, that they readily immerse themselves into today’s culture of vanity. They need the tally of “likes” to be shown in bold on the screen, so everyone knows the measurement of their worth. If you haven’t “liked” their recent photo, they’re going to make sure you know about it, so you can go “like” it.
These people aren’t my people. They’re free to exist in their world, but I am no longer able to stifle my gagging. I don’t like pretending to like people. I write about it all the time. But society has just worn me down. Rather than keep this site going with rants about how much I think people are full of themselves (and also excuses), I would rather just walk away.
So this is my last post. I hope you have enjoyed my experiment in observing and recording what I see around me. I’m sure it has taken many years off the end of my life.