IT’S A BLOG. YOU CLICK THE LINK TO THE POST YOU WANT, AND READ IT. IT’S THAT EASY. A MONKEY COULD DO IT.
IF YOU HAVE SOME TIME TO WASTE, OR YOU’RE TAKING A DUMP AND NEED SOMETHING TO READ, OR YOU WANT TO PRETEND LIKE YOU’RE WORKING, BUT DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO BE WORKING… HAVE AT IT. SELECT BY TOPIC, OR READ THEM ALL. DO WHAT YOU WANT, IS WHAT I SAY.
Score. -in light of my upcoming high school reunion, I reflect on the past 20 years, and compare two drastically different times.
Lost In The Supermarket – confused by loyalty programs, coupons, sales, and craziness? Relax. Forget about all that. Read my post, and realize that it’s all a weird dance that you can laugh at.
This Is All Very Normal – don’t you just hate when celebrities try to copy us regulars?
Vacation, By Accident. – more excuses for why I haven’t been writing.
Too Many Pies (Not Enough Fingers) – delaying the production of an actual post, with one that quietly backs away from the fact that it’s not a post about anything.
Concatenation Nation -This is the post your mom would’ve wanted you to write.
Your Chocolates Would Have Been Discounted, Eventually -I don’t love Valentine’s Day, but I do love ranting about it, every year, without fail. This year, I learned about the Japanese version of this travesty, so it’s also a cultural win.
Are You Ready For Some Football (fields)??! -if you love football, and math, you’ll love football math! Not only can you measure time with it, but you can measure space as well!! Some well rounded shit, right there.
What Was I Theenking?? -I’ve been hiding, but my brain has been working its twisted sorcery even still. If I don’t share my thoughts, I might implode.
The End Of Good Times -asking the question of why we experience an emotional/physical “crash” after having a good time.
Opening My Fourth Eye -a nice, detailed post about my recent rectal surgery. Aren’t you glad you stopped here?
MisterRogersMamaRu -dropping some knowledge, courtesy of two of my favorite life coaches.
The Feverish Brain -if you weren’t sure about looking into the depths of my mind before, this will surely be what hooks you. Some people say I’m sick in the head. Here’s a story about actually being just that.
Did Someone Just Fuckin’ Say ‘Christmas’??? – a jolly post celebrating the most wonderful time of the consumerist year: Quarter 4 Commercials!
I Was Almost Vinced. – another unfunny post, consecutively! What is this?! It’s a post about my recent car accident, and how I realized I was human.
“Why Now?” revisited – taking a break from the funny, so don’t expect any laughs here. Just some sadly necessary light being shed on not acting like you can tell anyone how to deal with sexual assault.
Oldies, Not Goodies -all of your favorite rapey hits from the golden era of music, in one collection.
Is This Real Life? -a troll is a troll, and an asshole is an asshole. Social media should be sponsoring my soapbox.
The “Custumor” Is Always Right -sometimes, you just have to lean on your principles, and seize the opportunity to hate customer service and still be right.
Writer’s Block -talking it through anyway.
No FOMO, or A Summer Without Facebook -a chronicling of my first few months off the ‘book.
The Indignant Chef -a little ditty about cooking with the big boys.
Is Anybody Talking About The Humidity? -because heat gets all the attention.
Please Will You Not Be My Neighbor? -a satirical deep-dive into how shitty of a neighbor I am.
It Ain’t No Fun -skipping a week is tiring.
Well? How Did I Get Here? -a reflective piece about valuing yourself, both in and out of a relationship.
Andy! You Goonie! -a humorous follow-up to ‘I Want To Dip My Balls In It’ but also a wonderful standalone piece.
Decal Matter -a satirical rant about policies and principles, under disguise as a complaint about apartments.
Hey! Stop Blowing Me (off) -a piece that closely examines the disjointing of society.
Manic Depression Is A Frustrating Mess -a real-life look into the mind of the manic/depressive type.
En Garde, Ne Touchez Pas -a story of friendship, introversion, and how some of us are our own worst enemy.
I Wanna Dip My Balls In It! -a satirical rant about sexism in advertising.
Living in Fear of Living -an anecdotal look into realizing the gift of truly living.
Cold Turkey, Hold the Guilt -the second in a series of tales about my journey of quitting facebook forever!
Mothers’ Day… Just ONE?! -a hilarious celebration of everything mothers get.
FOMO, MOFO -the premier article in the Quitting Facebook series.
Uncomfortable Comforting -a look into how difficult it can be to grow out of our comfort zone.
Free Thought (with every purchase) -a short piece about standing behind your ideologies.
Be Kind, Remind -a flashback to when I almost lost my kids, and the lessons I took from it.
Teach Them… Well? -a plea to public school teachers.
Let Me Write ’em -a short piece about the lost art of handwriting.
I’m “Irreplaceable” -an “I told you so” moment during the Cambridge Analytica scandal. This may be the precursor to the Quitting Facebook series.
It’s My Shit In A Box! -just having a brief laugh over products I see on tv.
Safety First, Danger Second -a short rant about humans lazily yielding to artificial intelligence.
My Conundrum -a sad piece about cutting ties with my sick father.
Tot Finder Gonna Come Find You -observing the slipping away of human awareness through social media.
“Write.” -a journal-entry style rant that is all over the place, but eventually talks about how we prioritize what’s important to say, do, and know.
Signs, Symbols, Metaphors, Clairvoyance -an anecdotal look at knowing what comes next.
Last Day of School 2017 -pretty much exactly what it sounds like.
Covfefe -this is a satirical-but-true story that needed to be told, of a wannabe coffee hero, and the heroine that rose up in his place.
Why Women’s Empowerment Is Important To Me -a story about the sign of the times, when women are leaning on each other for support and strength.
Many Hats, Many Questions -an introspective look at who I think I am.
Am I Write? -a whiny complaint about the internal struggle of being a writer vs existing as a parent.
Vacation… Nothing Like What I Wanted -a story about my kids being bored as soon as holiday vacation begins.
Crock of Ages -a breakdown of generational differences and labels.
It’s Esteem of Your Muthafuckin Self! -an examination of turning the things you hate into things you respect about yourself.
WOMAN…Whoa, Man… -a satirical story about using a men’s bathroom.
Can I Help, Or Be Lazy? -a piece about how “badly” my kids want to help me out around the house.
Why Now? -in this article, I answer the question many (dickheads) are asking of sexual abuse victims.
Good Mom. -a story about mom guilt.
The Eye of the Beholder -a brief rant about what society has done to our perception of beauty.
“How Are You?” “Hi.” –a quick word about shutting up and keeping it all inside.